Fakebook, I Mean Facebook and Other Distortions of What is Real

Okay, I admit it, I was on Facebook for quite some time, but not anymore.  There were some good things about it, I found a few long lost friends and I was able to keep up with family news and see pictures of my cute nieces and nephews and other firends and family members, I could send Happy Birthday greetings, and it was kind of fun to see clever statuses and etc.  However, one day I realized that Facebook, can and does distort our sense of relationships and the reality of our lives.  People post statuses on Facebook telling you what they are accomplishing, or not accomplishing,they are sick, that someone just cut them off during a drive, complain about their neighbors, share good news, share bad news, share inappropriate intimate details of their lives, have arguments, check in at locations they are currently at and comment on statuses almost like machines.  A little window into other people's day to day lives and we get to feel as though we are a part of that, even though, our time is not spent with these people and we probably wouldn't talk to them on a daily basis, or perhaps ever.  On April 1st last year, I changed my birthday on my profile, I got 80 Happy Birthday wishes, and only 4, "Good April Fool's Joke!", from people who knew me well enough to know when my actual Birthday was.   I had a friend tell me that she feels hurt when others don't comment or like her status, and she sees other statuses that she deems "stupid" that have several comments and likes.  I found myself having conversations with people that I do spend time with about "friends" statuses on Facebook.  Recently, when I was going through a difficult time, I had all kinds of friend requests from people who had not been a part of my life in years or ever, it felt as though they wanted to tune into my life as though it were one of those awful afternoon TV shows, like Jerry Springer. I will admit I did get some very kind notes of love and concern from my real friends with the personal messages, but Facebook or not I would have heard from them. 

Our teenagers spend a lot of time on Facebook, they have long conversations on instant messaging, with so-called friends that they "go to school with" or are "friends of friends", but don't really even know them at all.  They post pictures of just about anything they are doing, and I know some teenage girls who are so conscious of that, they make sure they have their hair curled, make up on and are always dressed a little better than the occasion calls for, so when their face gets plastered all over some one's wall they look good.  They too have a sense that they are truly connected to these "friends" on Facebook and share very personal intimate details of their lives with complete strangers.  It's like they are all on some sort of reality TV show and they are fighting for air time.  The tragedy in this is that our children are in one of the most crucial developmental stages of their lives, approval from peers is HUGE, and self-esteem which once developed from within, is now based on a false reality from a world that only allows you to see what it wants you to and never the whole picture.  Relationships are based on that, the honor of being called a friend has been cheapened by the en mass media, and the word love is tossed around like a beach ball, instead of being saved for someone who is a REAL meaningful part of your life.

The reality distortion doesn't begin and end on Facebook, cell phones and the need to be constantly connected to those outside our walls play a big part as well.  The other night we went out to dinner with another couple, the entire time one of the people in our party was texting another person, and sharing what they were telling them as their attempt to interject into the conversation, which was not at all about who they were texting, nor did I care about the squabble with the person on the receiving end of the texts.  We had gone to dinner to spend time with the couple and get to know them better, but instead ended up spending the evening with someone we did not know, hearing about a problem that was none of our business and quite frankly insulted that a person who was not present got more attention than the people that were.  My husband and I have a rule, when you're out to dinner, phones are put away, no texting or talking on the phone, if it's important people can leave a message, but we notice that so many people around us can't seem to be disconnected from their phones even for a minute or two, someone always has a phone out, talking, texting, or reading Facebook statuses.  Once upon a time our phones were attached to a wall with a cord, so we had to leave that connection behind us when we left our homes, we had the opportunity to be away from the phone, the television, and other distractions and focus on where we were and even have time to think our own thoughts.  Now we have an endless connection to anyone that wants to reach us and to media that keeps us from being present and from thinking our own thoughts.  Our reality is now painted and tainted by all of the things that we can't seem to disconnect from.  Texting is great for a quick, hey meet me here or are you free to talk, but typed conversations without hearing the tone of voice allow you to make assumptions that may not be true about the words in front of you, there is no way to determine, the sincerity or the intent of the message.  It's time for all of us to rethink the way we use the technology we have, it is a good thing if used correctly, but we have abused it and have come to demand instant results, answers and entertainment, because it's all there in a little device we can carry everywhere we go, I think a lot of us have even begun answering our own prayers because we cannot wait on God to do it.  The best answer to this problem may be this advice found in scripture, 8 simple words..."Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)